I want to feel and experience your anger and rage fully. That is how I get to completely and utterly connect with you. I want to get down in the dirt and muck with you, rolling and wallowing around in it, to fully understand where you are. That anger and rage is your passion – it is the fuel that changes the world. It’s going to come out wonky and ugly, especially when you are not used to expressing it. You will sound like a raging lunatic, but I know underneath that you aren’t. It’s just the raw, unfiltered you finding a place to release, and we have so few places to do this. Much of what you will say won’t even entirely ring true, and that is okay too. I won’t hold you to it.
When we clamp it down instead of releasing it fully, we are locking ourselves away from the gems it exposes.The longer you have held it down, the nuttier it is going to come out. That is okay. I will stay there in that spot until it is all out. Those gems are worth the wait, and they are what is going to shift the world to a more beautiful place. Until we allow ourselves and others to do this, we are stuck. Our obsession with being seen as good, politically correct, dignified, doing grief right, or in control of our emotions is holding us back from creating the world we want to be a part of and the life we want to build.
I repeatedly see and experience individuals shaming each other’s anger and rage. There is no such thing as an appropriate time. The only caveat is whether that specific space is a safe place for the person to release it in. Setting a safe container for it is important – this does not mean not expressing the anger and rage, but making sure things like the surroundings are safe for a release. Shaming, or telling people they aren’t doing anger and rage right, just shuts down their ability to access it and create what is coming through. Appreciate and fall in love with both their process and yours.
Expressing your anger and rage does not have to mean you are going to become violent or hurt someone. You can do it in a variety of ways. How does one release it? A few are:
- Running hard
- Going at it with a friend (with their permission)
- Dancing to angry, fast music
- Throwing a temper tantrum
- Punching or throwing pillows
- Pretending pillows are what you are angry with and yelling at them
- With a coach, counsellor, or therapist willing to hold a container for you
That creation on the other side of the anger and rage is the gem that has the potential to change the world. I want to see and experience each of these gems. It does not matter whether you bring it into creation or someone else. It is bringing it up and exposing it to the light that matters. Whether you know it or not, you are an incredible creator.