I have many friends that have become entrenched in spiritual communities, or just worked with healers. I have done both myself. At first they feel very good, but at some point things start feeling not so great. When they start voicing that something feels off, the leaders or healers do not listen to the constructive criticism and see if it resonates, then make changes where needed.  Instead, they turn the issues back on the person voicing their concerns. If healing is not working like the healer thinks it should be then, the individual is “refusing to do the work” or “not believing in the power of healing enough”. Same with the spiritual practices, as you must not be following the practice correctly. In reality, you are perfect and are doing the practices perfectly for where you are in your practice. Maybe you only do them once a month or once every few months, or maybe a few times a day. All are perfectly okay. You are doing it right for you as long as it feels good to you.

Many unsuspecting individuals do not realize that turning the individual’s concerns into the individual’s issues, not the healer’s or community’s is gaslighting. I have many times heard the individuals accused of being “energy vampires” or “stuck in their victim story”. If they are, perhaps this is exactly where they are supposed to be right now, and they are perfect exactly here as it is what they are needing at this time. There is enough energy to go around if we live in a world of abundance, so energy vampirism is not really a problem if you are coming from a place of being full. As regards being in your victim story: to break free of it one has to go fully into it first. Many people repeatedly hear these accusations and shame themselves for not doing better, instead of calling out the community leaders or healers. Sadly, they are repeatedly taken advantage of, instead of standing in their power and saying, “no, I will not be treated like this.”

All of this makes me very angry as this is not okay. If you are feeling something is off, then something is off, even if you cannot pinpoint what it is. Do not allow others to discount or sweep your concerns under the rug. They are concerns for a reason. You know intuitively when something is off. Believe your gut instinct here. When you see leaders discounting any constructive criticism, know that this is not okay as no one is perfect and does everything perfectly – this is one of the keys to knowing you are dealing with a human.

My recommendation to my friends is to take what resonates for you from spiritual groups and healers, and leave the rest. Remember that they are a collaborator in assisting you in creating the life you are creating, not a guru. Not everything from one place will resonate with you, as not all of it is supposed to, and that is completely okay. There are many good healers and spiritual communities out there. Speak with people you know and check out reviews. Go in with an open mind and open heart, while also respecting any feelings that come up internally. There are a lot of people within these groups that specifically are looking for people to take advantage of. While they may not be working on Wall Street, that does not mean that they will not do anything they can to take advantage of you. If you start seeing warning signs it is okay to leave. Do not allow others to pressure you into anything.