The mind retaliates. Keep trudging along like you always have. The rule book exists for a reason. Defying it and setting off on your own path exudes with selfishness, abandoning others, and showing others there may actually be a better path.
I have done this a few times now. As a child we moved or I changed schools around every three years. When my son became ill at 3 months of age my life as I knew it ended. Again when he died at 13 months and 25 days. A year after his death I tried to resume my previous muggle existence by going back into working in accounting. After a few more years when I finally acknowledged that no matter how much love, pain, and energy I put into my marriage I could not shift the course on my own. A beautiful relationship with a man I was too much for who attempted suicide twice and I had to walk away from. Then there were the three periods the universe was trying to throw me out of the nest in the accounting world. It finally won the battle. One would think by now I would realize the universe always wins in the end and has the best of intentions.
Now I have met a man who not only can keep up with me, but is the first to challenge if I can keep up with him. His desires for himself are amazingly in line with mine for myself. At the time I did not realize it, but the moment I met him and fully let him in I fell completely in love, unlike any time before in my life. I chose to not settle for any that were less than this as it would not be fair to any involved. The other men make for amazing and beautiful friendships, but they are meant for others. I am to move 1/2 way across the world and let go of my worldly possessions to build what we desire in the Netherlands – a community of like-minded people opening up to the truth of who they are, their desires, and to build the most gorgeous relationships of their lives. Could there really be an endeavor more beautiful for where I am in my life? Also, a new gorgeous challenge to embark on for my fourth decade on this earth. Don’t get me wrong, fears pop up as they do with all. I just choose to work through them and find my way through to the other side.
This path is not entirely new. My 30’s were spent inching my way here. Especially these last 3 years. I am a teacher of the Art of Feminine Presence, I hold a certificate in Angelic Guidance Counseling, have been cultivating knowledge and experience as an Angelic Shamanic practitioner, and completed a desire-based coaching program that includes being an orgasmic meditation coach. I also have degrees in management and accounting underlying all of this.
The love my son taught me is what I desire to teach the world along with my profound knowledge in developing phenomenal relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. It all comes back to love and connection with oneself. From there it expands into all others in your life.